training camp was not what i expected, in the best of ways:)
after hoisting my awkwardly shaped airporter across the (wrong) side of the airport, wandering around for a bit and finally trudging to the other side, i emerged sweaty and nervously shaking, but unscathed, at the top of the escalator.
from there it was nearly nothing but peace that i felt.
i was greeted so kindly and with such affability that i couldn’t help but ask Jesus excitedly in the van if this was what i could expect for the rest of the three months, this lovely hug of an atmosphere, these people’s hearts, this amazing, shining, almost-hard-to-contain joy that i had in every region of my heart. almost immediately, he said, “you’re where i want you.” and that was scary that he didn’t answer my question in the way that my human brain wanted it to be answered, but it was good enough for me. it’s nice to know that you’re where you’re supposed to be.
training camp was a whirlwind of teaching sessions, random advice about life on the field, and heaps of joy in my heart. i went to sleep with my cheeks hurting from smiling so much, and woke up talking to Jesus. we were fed with copious amounts of rice—every time i ate i thought there was no way there’d be enough for the eight of us on the plate. then we were all full, and sometimes there were leftovers. there were introductions, there was team time, there was rice, there was jesus. good times.
honestly i think i was more ready for this than i thought. i kept getting hungrier and hungrier and i was addicted to the joy that came out of everything—my team, worship, quiet times—almost absolutely everything.
and that scared me a bit.
because what if it was a high? what if i was all bubbly in the honeymoon phase and over the moon for Jesus because it’d only been anywhere from three to sixty hours? i told Jesus that i didn’t want to be here for a spiritual high. i wanted to here for a spiritual catapult. thinking about that for a little bit made my joy dwindle and morph into a form of panic. i hated the thought of squandering these months i had waited for to learn and get to know Jesus and my team more. as he has plenty of times, he put his hand on the top of my head and gave me psalm twenty three six.
“may your goodness and mercy follow me for all the days of my life, and i will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
it feels like everyone had it said to them when they were little or had it hammered i to them in christian school, but spending a summer of teaching it to kids and hearing it talked about so much in so many different little-kid ways has made it one of my favorite verses to speak over myself and into others.
so every time i felt a little (or big) twinge of uneasiness or panic, i tried to whisper it to myself.
of course it worked. Jesus is neato like that.
the last day of training camp, as i was cuddling Louis the t-rex in the safety of my nylon nest, i felt full—and not just because of all the rice. Jesus’ hand on my head was the reason i felt not only ready, actually excited, like i was doing it not only for him, but with him.
please pray that the joy my team and i have in us never runs out, and that it rubs off on everyone we meet:)
“and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” – ephesians 3:19
??
– 🙂
